When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro. - Hunter S. Thompson

04 November 2006

"Family" values

After denying that he had ever met a gay escort who claimed to have had a three-year sexual relationship with him, the Rev. Ted Haggard admitted yesterday that he had summoned the escort to give him a massage in a Denver hotel room and bought methamphetamine from him.

But Mr. Haggard, one of the nation’s leading evangelical ministers, maintained that the two men never had sex and that he threw out the drugs without using them.

Minister Admits Buying Drug But Denies Tryst (New York Times, November 4, 2006)

"I bought the meth but I never used it, and I got massages from a gay hooker but there was no sex involved."

When that's your defense, call off the dogs and douse the fire; it's over.

And once again, a prominent crusader for Family ValuesTM is brought low, this time on the down-low.

Evangelical Christian leaders are surely pining for the days when big-name evangelists were merely being caught screwing ugly female hookers (or sexually assaulting attractive young female staffers) in motel rooms.

Because, you know, at least they weren't fornicating unnaturally.

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