When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro. - Hunter S. Thompson

09 February 2005

Signs of an improving economy

Signs that the economy is improving: unsolicited come-ons from technical recruiters.

I've been off the market for some time now, but old copies of my resume are still floating around out there.

Based on some of the evidence I've recently seen, however, during the recent tech slump we apparently lost a number of good, professional recruiters... and in their place, now that things are gearing up again, we've got people who can apparently neither read nor write.

Case in point: yesterday, I received a semi-coherent message from a recruiter asking me to apply for a job I am not remotely qualified for. I am not sure whether she actually read my resume (I'm betting she didn't) but given the literacy level of her query letter, who knows?

Her note to me included these gems:
Also I would like to have this information send to me via email.

Details to fill

Immigration status/green card/citizen

Current salary that u can prove

Current bonus that u can prove

My response, with identifying information redacted to protect the clueless:
Hi, (clueless recruiter.)

Thanks for thinking of me with respect to this job opening.

Unfortunately, since I'm not a programmer, and have no experience with (a whole bunch of stuff I know nothing about) or really any of the technologies that are listed in the job requirements other than Office and Visio, I don't think I would be a very good fit for this employer, and thus I think I'll pass.

I am a pretty good technical writer and editor, however, and would like to offer you some suggestions about how to improve your query letter.

In a business letter (and that includes e-mails) it is best to use standard written English, in order to sound and appear professional and to avoid misunderstandings. You also want to proofread carefully, and check both spelling and grammar, before sending out an e-mail.

So, for example, "current salary that u can prove" is wrong for a couple of reasons.

First, it uses "u" instead of "you," which is okay when sending text messages to a friend on a cell phone (or quoting hip-hop lyrics) but should be avoided in the business world; second, it rather belligerently implies that you think you're addressing someone who would lie, given half a chance.

I am sure that you meant to be neither insulting nor flippant, but many readers might read it that way.

Here is one way to re-write the message that you sent me that would avoid these kinds of problems.

*****

Hi, (candidate's name here.)

Your resume came up as a potential match to a position that we're actively recruiting for.

(Insert brief summary of position here.)

If you're interested, point your browser to

(URL here)

for more information.

If you'd like to apply for the job, you can submit your information at the link above, or, if you'd prefer, you can send me your resume (as an attached Microsoft Word document, please) by return e-mail.

When submitting your information, please be sure to include the following:

-- Your immigration status and work eligibility
-- Your current compensation, including base salary and bonus (subject to verification)
-- Your desired compensation
-- Your availability (how soon can you start?)

If you have questions, please do not hesitate to contact me by telephone or e-mail.

(your signature and contact information here)

*****

Hope that you find this helpful and constructive.


Best regards,

Barry

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