When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro. - Hunter S. Thompson

02 December 2008

Facebook for golddiggers

Received in e-mail today, after being "recommended for membership" by someone who would barely qualify as an acquaintance:

An invitation to a new social network called (I kid you not) Affluence.org:
Membership to Affluence.org is completely free but requires a demonstratable minimum household net worth of $3 million US; or a minimum annual household income of $300,000; or successful invitation of 5 other people that qualify for membership. Apply today for free.
Oh, where to begin? So many possible responses...

(1) Yeah, right: I'm going to provide full financial disclosure to somebody--on the strength of their ability to cobble a website together. Good luck with that.

(2) Wow, is somebody ever pissed that they couldn't get an invitation to asmallworld.

(3) The word you're groping for is "demonstrable", Richie Rich. More syllables does not equal more eloquence, and "demonstratable" is only used in current American idiom when referring to software and experiments.

(4) It can't have taken y'all that long to go from business plan to site rollout... and we've been in a recession for the last year (officially, now) - what were you thinking, rolling out something called "Affluence.org" in the teeth of a major financial panic? Tin ear, much?

(5) In re "...or successful invitation of 5 other people that qualify for membership..."

Fantastic! If you're the sort of person who makes it his business to know and hang out with rich people but aren't rich yourself, you can still become a member, and hang out with even more rich people! Wow, it's Facebook for golddiggers!

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