You Can Always Tell the Conductors Who Used to Teach Public Schoolvia Overheard in New York, Sep 28, 2008
Train conductor on "drunk train" from Penn Station: To your right, you will see a big shiny train. If you are changing to the train to Port Jeff, get off of this train, and get on that shiny train. If you are changing to the train to Montauk, walk through the big shiny train, until you see an even *bigger* shiny train. The train to Montauk will have not one, but two big shiny levels. That is the train to Montauk. So remember: Port Jeff?
Conductor and herd of drunken fools: Shiny train!
Drunken fools: Bigger shiny train! Woooo!
--LIRR, Jamaica Station
Overheard by: Sarah
(The "drunk train" is the last commuter train leaving Manhattan for whatever your destination might be - Long Island, New Jersey, Connecticut, Westchester.)