When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro. - Hunter S. Thompson

15 March 2009

Chasing the early bird special following the failure of the global banking system

The Forward's Purim joke** this year would do The Onion (or even Heeb) proud:

The Elders of Zion, the venerable and shadowy Jewish organization that controls the international banking industry, news media and Hollywood, has announced that it is disbanding so that members can retire to Florida and live out their golden years on the golf course.

“We had a good run,” said one senior Elder, reminiscing over old photographs of world leaders in his musty, wood-paneled office at an undisclosed location. “Maybe we ran the world for just a little too long. Anyway, now it’s Obama’s problem.”

After a humiliating year left most of its financial holdings, as well as the entire civilized world, on the verge of collapse, the organization has re-defined its mission in terms of bridge games and making it to restaurants for the Early Bird Special.

** Like April Fool's Day, Purim is a holiday where telling whoppers in an attempt to hoodwink someone has evolved into an art form.

Hat tip: Carrie, via Facebook

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