A few recent gems:
Man: ...I'm saying, you've passed out, and then the cat eats you. So just don't pass out.See also: Overheard In The Office.
Scientologist: Ma'am, are you interested in taking a free stress test?
Woman: Hell no. I don't need no freako to tell me I'm stressed. I already know that.
-- Union Square station
Dude #1: I want a new printer but they're too expensive.
Dude #2: Yeah, I know what you mean. I want to find a good cheap one.
Homeless busybody: Cheap?! That's why you're a fucking Jew!
Dude #2: Actually I'm not Jewish, but I'm glad you're homeless!
--W. 4th St.