Five things

Payback is hell.

Chap, who recently answered my podcast challenge (this guy has the most amazing record collection of anyone I know... it was just meant to be) has retaliated by passing on a blog chain letter.

I've got to pick five items from the following list of potential professions and talk about what I'd do. "If you were a twee..."

The list (and I wouldn't do this for just anyone):

• If I could be a scientist...
  
• If I could be a farmer...
  
• If I could be a musician...
  
• If I could be a doctor...
  
• If I could be a painter...
  
• If I could be a gardener...
  
• If I could be a missionary...
  
• If I could be a chef...
  
• If I could be an architect...
  
• If I could be a linguist...
  
• If I could be a psychologist...
  
• If I could be a librarian...
  
• If I could be an athlete...
  
• If I could be a lawyer...
  
• If I could be an inn-keeper...
  
• If I could be a professor...
  
• If I could be a writer...
  
• If I could be a llama-rider...
  
• If I could be a bonnie pirate...
  
• If I could be an astronaut...
  
• If I could be a world famous blogger...
  
• If I could be a justice on any one court in the world...
  
• If I could be married to any current famous political figure...

Okey-doke.

1. If I could be a musician... I'd definitely be a jazz musician. Jazz is musician's music, and I'd want to be a musician's musician.
   
   I don't think that Charlie Parker or Louis Armstrong would ever have to worry about me being a threat to their legacies as composers or performers, but with enough practice I might make a decent saloon singer out of myself.


2. If I could be a doctor... I suppose I could write all the usual tripe here about being a dedicated researcher, seeking out the cures for dread diseases, or a family doctor working selflessly with "underserved populations," but in all honesty I think I'd move to a medical marjiuana state and set myself up in a lucrative prescribing practice on an attractive beach somewhere.
   
   Either that, or a practice that involved shooting lots of Botox into celebrities' faces.
   
   Underserved celebrities, of course.


3. If I could be a chef... I'd open up a really good breakfast place at the beach. A good breakfast place in a resort area is almost a guaranteed success. Especially if it's located close to a medical marijuana clinic.
   
   Or I might find an ultra-Orthodox business partner and open up a glatt kosher soul food restaurant.


4. If I could be an architect... Hell, these people are ready to give me work as an architect right now! Seriously, though... I've always been fascinated by forward-thinking residential architecture, especially highly energy-efficient designs like earth-sheltered homes. So I might focus on that.


5. If I could be a bonnie pirate... Yarrrrrrrrrr. Prepare to be boarded.
   

Now it's time to pick some new victims spread the love.

The Oubliette, Prairiesong, Mountain Philosopher... tag, you're it!