"Castration without malice"

You know, here in New York City, we are justly proud of the sleaze that's on offer to the discerning consumer. If the advertisements in the back pages of the free weekly newspapers can be believed, almost every fetish imaginable is catered for, and I'm sure that if you know who to ask, you can find most of the stuff that even the Village Voice (or, for that matter, Screw) won't commit to print.

This being a place where captains of industry and other alpha male types are as common as spring pollen, and the perverse logic of sexuality being what it is, BDSM "dungeons" seem to be in high demand here. And, I would imagine, you could get just about anything you want...

Except, you know, this one thing... for this, you've gotta go to Haywood County, North Carolina, where the wholesome mountain folk live:

WAYNESVILLE, NC – At least six men traveled from across the nation and South America to have their genitals mutilated in what Haywood County authorities described as a sadomasochistic dungeon.

Three Haywood County men are now in jail on felony charges of castration without malice and practicing medicine without a license.

I have no idea what Haywood County sheriff Tom Alexander looks like, but I am picturing a rather well-fed good old boy sort of adjusting his Sam Browne belt, scratching his head and wearing a look of bemusement as he delivers this line:

“This right here beats everything I have ever seen.”

Me too, Sheriff Alexander. Me too.

And I have the feeling that if I took this article down the street to the neighborhood tranny bar, they'd say so as well.

Haywood County News: Authorities shut down sadomasochistic dungeon

(A tip of the cap to the half-dozen folks back home who made sure I had copies of this article from various NC newspapers within mere seconds of it hitting the wires on Friday.)