Thank God, Mister Gato has never done this

I have suffered my share of cat-related injuries and indignities since adopting Mister Gato, especially during the relatively brief transition from "feral hunter-killer" to "contented housecat," but thank God that he never did anything like this:

An unconscious 30-year-old man was brought to the ER by ambulance. His girlfriend had found him lying naked on the floor of his bathroom and called 911. In the ER, he was found to have a large lump on the top of his head and, strangely, several scratches on his scrotum. The doctors figured the lump was possibly caused by a fall or a knock to the head. However the source of the scratches remained a mystery until he woke up and provided the doctors with the following explanation. He said he had been cleaning his bathtub while naked, kneeling on the floor beside the tub. His cat, apparently transfixed by the rhythmic swaying of his scrotum, lunged forward, sinking its claws into this pendulous target. This caused the man to rocket upward, striking his head on the top frame of the shower door.

Source: Student Doctor Network Forums - Thread: Things I Learned From My Patients

Shiny and dangly, but quite safe:
Mister Gato reads my MedicAlert dog tags