When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro. - Hunter S. Thompson

17 September 2005

Cellphone porno

Ring Tones, Cameras, Now This: Sex Is Latest Cellphone Feature - New York Times:
Harvey Kaplan, director of mobile operations for xobile.com, a company in Charlotte, N.C., that sells two-minute hard-core video clips for download over phones, said he believed that thirst for sex-related content would drive the popularity of Internet-enabled phones.

"People aren't going to go out and buy a cellphone that streams video so they can watch a trailer of a Disney movie," he said. "But they will buy that phone if they have five minutes of quiet time" viewing sexually explicit video.
Ladies and gentlemen, right there is my new favorite euphemism for masturbation: "Five minutes of quiet time." Let's all start using it.

Streaming video porn over a cellphone is a little, well, obvious.

I much prefer the approach taken by Moantones, an English company that sells obscene ring-tone replacements. At one point, possibly as a promotional gimmick at launch, they were offering one-off (pardon the expression) recordings of a sexy voice moaning your name softly as part of a customised ringtone.

Somehow I managed to curb the urge to order one of those. Awkward in a business setting, you know?

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